Everything Happens So Much
by losercandy
Summary: 100 prompts, 100 sentences, for Rick/Vyvyan, my reckless angels (also, i fixed it now...sorry...)


whoop. my first one of these bad boys. tougher than i thought it would be. really enjoyed it though. got my prompts from here (table 100 A) [also, sorry, i didn't realize the prompt words weren't showing up?]

* * *

_1. Crash_

This was the 13th time Vyvyan had crashed his car and when Rick asked why they didn't just take his license away, he confessed that it was probably because he didn't have one.

_2. Dim_

"I have a hangover the size of France, and if you don't dim those fucking lights right this second, you will feel the depths of my wrath, fart-face!"

_3. Futile_

All attempts to fight back were futile; being tickled was worse than being hit with a cricket bat.

_4. Erratic_

"I fail to see what resemblance I bear to a rock that has been carried away by _ice, _Vyvyan."

_5. Loved_

"Is it really too much to ask that I am loved and respected by millions of people who actually _appreciate _my genius rather than barely tolerated by three pathetic idiots?"

_6. Soft_

Rick was surprised at how soft Vyvyan's hair was when it wasn't cemented into spikes.

_7. Hold_

Vyvyan rarely seemed interested in holding hands with Rick in public, but he always did it if he knew it would get him in a fight with some nearby idiot

_8. Shackles_

"You know, don't feel shackled to the idea or anything, but your car _is_ parked on my foot, so maybe if you wouldn't mind…moving it…"

_9. Broken_

It wasn't that Vyvyan liked Rick better with a broken nose _par se, _it was just that he found him so much more interesting to look at when he had a nosebleed._  
_

_10. Precious_

Vyvyan and Rick had one of those relationships where "precious" was an insult and "insufferable bastard" was a term of endearment.

_11. Odds and Ends  
_Rick was always criticizing Vyvyan's collections (teeth, knives, bones) but always got defensive if Vyv brought up any of his (sticky women's magazines and Cliff Richard memorabilia).

_12. Tea_

Vyvyan only woke up early for two things: tea that Neil hadn't made, and blow jobs.

_13. Twisted_

Vyvyan was the kind of person whose idea of "being playful" included wedgies and titty twisters.

_14. Echo_

Rick's cries echo loudly down the hallway, and he doesn't even try to stop them, because getting your acne popped by Vyvyan is extremely painful.

_15. Soothe_

The nice thing about Vyvyan being a medical student was that, even though he could inflict lots of pain, he knew how to make it better, too.

_16. Fight_

With Vyvyan if something isn't a fight, it is usually a contest or a challenge at the _least. _

_17. Naked_

Going on eight months and Vyvyan still couldn't remember one time that Rick had actually been _completely _naked in front of him, because he never seemed to take that disgusting singlet off.

_18. Push_

When Rick pushed Vyvyan off the roof, he hadn't realized he'd be able to recover so quickly and climb back up to kick the shit out of him.

_19. Alive_

Vyvyan didn't know how Rick was always so alive and enthusiastic in the morning, nor did he understand what kind of sadistic bastard would sing at the top of his lungs at the ungodly hour of 1 AM.

_20. New_

"Oh yes, of course, why would I be anything less than thrilled that you got a new tattoo for yourself for _my birthday present. _You could have at least gotten my name instead of Cthulhu. Do you even _know _who H.P. Lovecraft _is?" _

_21. Born_

All of Vyvyan's worst ideas were born from boredom, but the decision to put the television on a pulley that led directly into his bedroom actually hadn't been bad.

_22. Murmur_

Rick always spoke in his sleep, murmuring concerns over his hair and wondering what 'his people' would think of this or that.

_23. Devious_

If you asked anyone, they would have told you that Vyvyan was the evil genius of the two, but Rick could have his deliciously devious moments where he was so twisted that Vyvyan barely realized it was the same person.

_24. Isolation_

Vyvyan liked to spend time alone on occasion, but Rick treated time apart like solitary confinement.

_25. Starve_

Rick had been on a hunger strike protesting Vyvyan's new facial tattoo for nearly a week, and no one had noticed yet.

_26. Breakable_

Vyvyan broke four things in under an hour: a tea cup, the television, his finger, and a chair over Rick's head.

_27. Winter_

Vyvyan didn't have a winter coat and instead elected to simply run everywhere he went, trying to "stay faster than the cold".

_28. Ignore_

Vyvyan had to concentrate very hard to ignore the poster of Trotsky watching him fool around with Rick.

_29. Colour_

Whenever Rick asks Vyvyan if he dyes his hair, Vyvyan mumbles into a cough then points and shouts, "MY GOD, IS THAT CLIFF RICHARD?". To Rick's dismay, it works every time.

_30. Grace_

Rick's mother asks Vyvyan to say grace at Christmas dinner, and he complies, yelling "GRACE!" and spewing mashed potato over the table.

_31. Belong_

Mike tells Vyvyan that he and Rick belong together, and when Vyvyan asks why, Mike says, "Because you're both fucking weirdos, aren't you?"

_32. Choke_

Rick has had a lot of embarrassing moments in his relatively short life, but he thinks the worst is probably when he got a stiffy while Vyvyan was giving him the Heimlich maneuver.

_33. Reach_

Rick has to reach over Vyvyan if he wants to retrieve his dungarees, but Vyvyan looks so peaceful when he is sleeping, and it would be a shame to miss an opportunity to write on his face.

_34. Difficult_

Rick threw his pen at Vyvyan shouting, "Writing is much more difficult with you there, _leering _at me you _pervy!"_

_35. Heat_

Rick complained loudly about the cold and Vyvyan - ever oblivious to Rick's lines - told him to put on a coat.

_36. Veneer_

In the early days Rick thought Vyvyan's violence might have been a veneer, but he was surprised about how many parts of Vyvyan's personality it touched, especially since he really did seem so innocent sometimes.

_37. Fall_

"Isn't the weather so nice? You know, they call autumn _fall, _in America."  
"That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard."

_38. Nightmare_

"Trying to braid your hair is an absolute nightmare, how did you bully Neil into doing it for you for this long?"

_39. Contagious_

Neil was frantically carrying cups of tea and tissues between the rooms of his two yelling flat mates, who were trying to argue through running noses and brick walls about who made the other sick.

_40. Good riddance_

Rick wouldn't say he was _happy _when SPG died, but he was glad to no longer be finding hamster hairs in Vyvyan's teeth.

_41. Goodbye_

"Every time we talk on the phone you hang up without a word, _would it kill you to say goodbye_?"

_42. Scarred_

"That's gonna leave a mark." Vyvyan says by way of apology when his knife goes a little too far left after he throws it.

_43. Last dance_

"Rick, if you don't stop singing that Donna Summer song, so help me, I will never kiss you again."

_44. Burn_

Vyvyan's stars are sort of starting to heat up and burn him from all the sunlight, and he can't imagine that Rick is actually comfortable in this heat, wearing those damn dungarees and what appears to be his only shirt.

_45. Steady_

"'Going steady' is such a girly notion meant for debutantes and little girls who want to grow up to be princesses."

_46. Monster_

The first (and only) time Rick had seen Vyvyan blush was when Mike said, "Woah, that is a monster bruise on your neck there, Vyvyan! How did you get it?" one day at breakfast.

_47. Voodoo_

"Vyvyan, I can't believe you stole my 'Girl Bait' y-fronts for voodoo_, as if _I would want anything to do with you even under the influence of a spell!"

_48. Shine_

"Yeah you're totally _ravishing_, I just _love _the way the oily spot on your nose shines in the sun."

_49. Intent_

He hadn't meant to break Rick's nose, but at this point, his intentions didn't really matter.

_50. Camping_

"I don't think getting kicked out of a hotel and having to sleep in the street technically counts as _camping, _Vyvyan."

_51. Grave_

Rick doesn't like the look on Vyvyan's face when he asks him if he was really going to bury him alive.

_52. Machine_

Rick is worried when Vyvyan tells him that he has souped up his electric pencil sharpener… and rightly so.

_53. Destination_

They had been sent to the corner shop for crisps, how they ended up getting kicked out of 5 different pubs instead was a mystery to them.

_54. Nowhere_

Rick reads in Cosmopolitan that relationships go nowhere if you don't talk about things, and when he brings it up, Vyvyan insists they talk _even less _under the guise that he doesn't want their relationship "going anywhere".

_55. Garden_

Everyone had their own little contribution to the garden, Neil's being plants, Mike's being chairs, and Vyvyan and Rick's being accidentally tearing down the shed while crashing into it during a fight.

_56. I know_

"I know where you keep your magazines and I was just wondering how you even wank off to advice columns?"

_57. Dust_

"You only have one piece of furniture Vyvyan, how does your room even accumulate this much dust?"

_58. Dream_

"Dream on, stink-face, there is _NO WAY_ I am going to your parent's house for Christmas dinner!"

_59. Destiny_

Rick writes, "Why you're my destiny/ If you think now/That our love's not here to stay/ Tell me/ Who are we to say" on Vyvyan's only notebook, forcing him to burn it.

_60. Spring_

Vyvyan said he had a surprise waiting for Rick in his bedroom, and the last thing he expected was a spring-action boxing glove.

_61. Sigh_

Rick sighs loudly for what must be the 15th time, but Vyvyan still seems more interested in what Mike is saying.

_62. Fingertips_

Upon close inspection of Vyvyan's fingertips, he appears to have no finger prints. When asked, he boasts that he's probably burnt them off with chemicals by now.

_63. Waiting_

"If you could please tie your boots a little bit faster, _that would be great." _

_64. Playboy_

Refusal to refer to Mike exclusively as "The Playboy" had gotten Rick kicked out of the party, but Vyvyan was nice enough to sneak up to his room to give him a plate lentil nibbles and punch him for being an idiot.

_65. Revenge_

Rick had become dangerous ever since he realized that the best revenge he could get on Vyvyan -for anything- was to pretend to go in for a kiss, then start pulling on his nose ring instead.

_66. July_

"If you promise not to say a word about it until then, I will allow you to attend the Cliff Richard concert in July."

_67. Desire_

"You're so pretty, I just want to reach down your throat and play with your intestines."

_68. Free_

A note falls out of Rick's text book which reads, "Are you free on Thursday? _Love, Vyvyan_." and Rick crumples it in a ball, embarrassed, because he _knows _what that means.*

_69. Celebration_

Rick didn't know that you were supposed to beat the person you loved the most with a bat 25 times on Christmas, but Vyvyan insisted that was how he celebrated, and frankly, Rick was a little bit flattered that he'd been chosen.

_70. Stars_

Vyvyan was never jealous of Felicity Kendall when Rick watched _The Good Life_, but if that idiot mentioned Cliff Richard _one more time…_

_71. Morgue_

Breaking into the morgue was stupid and more difficult than he'd thought it would be, but he had promised Vyvyan _anything he wanted _for his birthday.

_72. Space_

"The space  
Between my face  
and a vase  
as you chase  
me - I race  
and pray for more space  
you disgrace  
-ful waste  
of my affection…ace"

_73. Whitewash_

Rick was always whitewashing their relationship when he spoke to strangers, but if he wanted to pretend that Vyvyan "fell in love with him" after hearing him read his poetry, Vyvyan wasn't going to complain, he was just going to make him pay for it later.

_74. Alone_

Vyvyan leaves town for _one _week, and Rick hums "I'll Walk Alone" _so_ much that Neil starts crying every time Rick walks in the room.

_75. Coma_

"Rick, the house is not haunted just because there's a coma on this picture, your camera is just shit."

_76. Letters_

Rick tried to make an acrostic of Vyvyan's name, but ended up just cursing loudly because V and Y are such stupid letters.

_77. Phone call_

"Yes, I'm sure you're having a wonderful time. Can you just tell me why you needed me to call you so urgently please, long distance calls are not free, you giant prick!"

_78. Music_

When Rick and Vyvyan get each other headphones for Christmas, Neil and Mike are relived that they won't have to listen to volume wars between Motörhead and Cliff Richard, not realizing that they will now be able to hear Rick and Vyvyan's terrible singing.

_79. Silence_

The first time Vyvyan had kissed Rick, he'd been so embarrassed that he hadn't spoken to him for two days.

_80. Cards_

Vyvyan just wanted to spend a little time by himself, but Rick keeps insisting there must be a way for two people to play Solitaire.

_81. Emblem_

Vyvyan puts a few studs on the lapels of Rick's blazer just as a small symbol; back off, he's mine.

_82. Elephant_

"Let's address the elephant in the room… Hello, Mr. Elephant, how the _hell_ did you get in here?"

_83. Monopoly_

Monopoly games had to be scheduled carefully, since they tended to go on for weeks, what with all the stopping to beat each other up, having to reset the board, and arguments over whether they had reset the board the right way, which usually lead to another fight.

_84. Reality_

In his dreams, Rick was a sex god who made everyone and anyone's knees _weak, _but, in reality, he giggled every time Vyvyan said "cock".

_85. Serenity_

The most serene Vyvyan gets is when Bastard Squad is on, and Rick loves it because sometimes he can hold his hand without him noticing.

_86. Bone_

"Surely you can spare the one at the tip of your little finger for my collection, Rick!"

_87. Chalk dust_

They're not even together yet when it happens, but when Rick comes home with chalk dust on his dungarees, Vyvyan knows he's stayed late to help Mr. Morrison clean up, and he can't help the little pang of jealousy.

_88. Manuscript_

"Rick, this is the most self-righteous pile of shit I have ever read, it's basically 9 pages that boil down to _'I think I'm the greatest person who ever lived'_."

_89. Ink_

"Vyvyan, will you please stop drinking the ink out of my biros?"

_90. Perfection_

Rick had been combing Vyvyan's hair for two and a half hours, insisting that they couldn't leave yet because he had to get the part done perfectly.

_91. Ring_

If Vyvyan had been _trying _to hit Rick in the head with the bat so hard that his ears rang for two days, he had succeeded.

_92. Drive_

Rick is excited because this is his first time driving Vyvyan's car, but tries not to show it, considering that he's probably only allowed because Vyvyan accidentally cut his own arm off.

_93. Missing_

"I demand to know what you have done with my tooth, young man!"

_94. Full moon_

"Shit it's the full moon, Mr. Balowski will be coming for the rent soon."

_95. New direction_

Graduation loomed over them and Rick liked talking about how they were going to move in new directions. Not separate. New.

96. _Poem_

Vyvyan returns the poem to Rick, saying, "I don't want to be the blood in your veins; I want to _see_ the blood in your veins."

97._ Record_

"If you put on that Air Supply record one more time, I will rip your cock off and feed it to you."

98._ Birthday_

"The candles are supposed to go on the _cake_, Vyvyan, not in my hair."

99._ Wartime_

Rick never let Vyvyan borrow his war comics because he liked it better when Vyvyan would lean over his shoulder to read them himself.

100._ Blister_

"Did I not tell you not to wear those stupid heel-y shoes to go hiking? Now hold still and stop crying, because if you don't, this needle isn't just going to pop your blister, al_right?"_

*"Love, Vyvyan" means "come and get it like a bitch, funky sex machine


End file.
